Congratulations! You are the proud owner of a PhD Candidate. This is a very exciting time for both of you. It can be stressful too, and you’re sure to have many questions. Don’t worry- this guide will help you on your way, and with careful attention to the rules, your PhD Candidate should last you many wonderful years. *
Let’s Begin with the Basics.
1) What is a PhD candidate, and what do they do?
This is an excellent question, and one that is asked every day- sometimes by the candidate themselves. A PhD candidate is someone who is enrolled in an institution of higher education with the goal of obtaining a PhD (also known as a Doctorate) in their chosen field. They attend courses, conduct research, attend professional confernces, and attempt to publish papers in scholarly journals.
2) But what do PhD candidates do for work while they are in school?
Ahh, yes. I assume by “work” you mean “what do PhD candidates do to earn money so that they can pay bills and eat?” This is another common question. Essentially, being a student IS a PhD candidate’s job. They are expected to produce original work that contributes to their chosen field (bio sciences, economics, etc). To help students keep their focus on their studies and research, many PhD programs offer financial assistance to their students by way of fellowships, grants, and stipends. In addition, many schools also waive tuition and some fees. Students who receive stipends are generally required to work as either a research assistant (they help professors with current research projects) or as teaching assistants (they may grade papers or proctor labs). Grants and Fellowships are a little different, so we’ll come back to those in another volume. It is also important to keep in mind that if your PhD candidate is receiving a stipend, it is most likely very small. And when I say small, I mean really tiny. Seriously. They’re broke.
3) So when classes are over, they’re on vacation, right?
No. Even though classes may not be in session, many PhD candidates continue working on their own research. There is always more work to be done. Always.
4) How long will my PhD candidate be in school?
Another GREAT question- with no great answer. Some programs may be completed as quickly as 3 years. Others can take 6 or even more. Some PhD candidates never finish. Ever. We prefer not to think about that.
5) What is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is a common occurance amongst first year PhD candidates. Symptoms include the candidate feeling that their acceptance into the program was an accident, and that someone will discover that they should not have been accepted at which point they would be thrown out with their tail between their legs while their classmates mock them from high in the ivory tower. Milder cases result in the candidate feeling as if they are simply an idiot in comparison to their classmates. Please take caution if your candidate is experiencing these sypmtoms. Your first reaction might be to tell them not to worry, that they are the smartest one there. DO NOT. This violates the first rule of basic care.
Basic Care of your PhD Candidate
1) Never tell your PhD candidate that they are “the smartest one there”. It may sound encouraging, but really it’s not. You see, schools do a great job of choosing their students. It is in the schools best interest that they choose people who will successfully complete the program, and while some may not for one reason or another- all of them are (in theory) capable. This means that your PhD candidate is among others who are very very smart and they know it.
2) If you ask how things are going and they tell you things are fine, this means that they are busy. If they tell you that they are busy, this probably means they haven’t slept more than 4 hours in a night, and if they tell you they are buried, stressed, or close to a deadline it is most likely in the best interest of all parties if you just back away slowly and leave them alone.
3) Feed and water often. If water is not available, Vodka, Tequila, and Beer are all adequate substitutes.
This concludes the first volume of The Care and Feeding of your First Year PhD Candidate. We hope that this advice has been useful, and wish you and your candidate luck. You’re going to need it.
* this guide is for entertainment purposes only- mostly mine.
Imposter syndrome is an interesting one — I think it’s true of any organization that tends to foster elitism. I often find myself wrangling with this in the egoistic world of software development.
I’d like to think that “Imposter Syndrome” might represent a hint of humility in the afflicted. I’m always suspicious of those who appear to be immune to it as they are usually compensating for something and are rarely worth their salt.
I love this. Especially #3.
I may print this out and put it in my office.
Hell. I may steal this. But give you proper credit, using correct citations and such so as not to be guilty of plagiarism.
Is there even a proper citation for a blog?